So if for example you shoot and 0.1 seconds after you hear "aaaaaaaaaaaarrrrggggggggghhhhhh!"  it means that he is half a meter away, the BB traveled at 346 Fps and that if you hit him directly on the skin - he is probably bleeding. Once [you understand the logic behind this] system,  please find as follows a brief explanation of the named shots (you will understand when you read it) followed by a Fps-cry chart.

Named shots is a trade mark of "The crying game" and any illegal reproduction will be punished by entering the violator into the crying game (carnage skirmish jam sessions).

For your quick reference, here is how you can tell what you're dealing with:

I hope you enjoyed this. And remember all this is a joke, we are not that crazy here...or maybe we are?
Best regards and keep up the great work

Berserk Snoopy, Spain

Editor's Comment:
Here in Asia, some seasoned airsoft enthusiasts enter into similar skirmish matches that are called "Power" skirmishes.  Typical weaponry include AEGs that are modified in excess of 450fps and sometimes even 500fps.  High capacity magazines are a must and most undergo some home surgery whereby winding up of the magazine is performed via a motorized mechanism or by way of a lever much like reeling in a fish on a fishing rod.  Needless to say, "Power" skirmishes are not for the weak and rules dictate that participants only wear a single layer of camouflage clothing.  Tactical vests are not allowed.  You can often identify "Power" players by their scarred skin, often most prominent on their forearms.  "Power" players aim to defy pain for as long as possible until it becomes so unbearable that they raise their guns to declare themselves dead, exactly as described above in Berserk Snoopy above.

We at RedWolf never understood the appeal of "Power" plays but there remains a large following in the airsoft world.  As long as you play with friends, this might be bearable.  We've heard many horror stories of real violence as opposing parties get a little too serious about it and end up exchanging fists instead of BBs.  Thanks to Berserk Snoopy though for submitting this story as it illustrates a different way of skirmishing that some of you may not have been exposed to!